What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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