a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

We found a cure for cancer. Death

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

TELL

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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