A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Your big dick.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops