Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

So a blonde walks into a wall...

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

roses are black violets are black i am blind

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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