What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

thumb_up thumb_down -20

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

thumb_up thumb_down -20

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

anus

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops