Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

anus

Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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