A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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