A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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