whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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what is worse than joel an infested asshole

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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An man walks to a bra

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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