A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

So a blonde walks into a wall...

What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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