Leave. Now.

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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i had sex.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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