Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops