What did the man with no head say to the women?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops