The ability to live the life of a dead person.

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

LOL

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

I read the terms of service.

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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