Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's big and purple? Barney

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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