Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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what's white and sticky semen

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Tall asians

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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