What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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