What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

What's red, blue & green all over?

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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