roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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