What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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