Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

pudding

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops