A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops