What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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