A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Obama

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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