Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops