Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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