- Anti Joke

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

Firgen and the blung brigade

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.