Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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Vaginal secretions

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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