why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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