What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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