A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops