Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Women's Rights

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops