Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A fish swims up your penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down +8

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I love Japan. It's the bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops