What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops