Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did John name his dog? Doggy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops