Women's rights

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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