Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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hi

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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