What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops