What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hey guys im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -12

guy walks into a bar, ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Not home.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

thumb_up thumb_down -12

KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops