I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Gay republicans

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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how would you feel when your girlfriend dumps you really bad because she just dumped you man!!!1

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops