What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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Donald Trump.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Caramel Boing.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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