How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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lewis=cardiac

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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