Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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