This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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lewis=cardiac

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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