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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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I love alchohol!

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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