Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

French people.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My nipple is bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down

The Mets win the World Series

thumb_up thumb_down

Guess what? SHADAP

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

thumb_up thumb_down -10

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops