What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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you...

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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