How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops