Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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I <3 Hitler

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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