theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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this is stupid .... yep

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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