What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The latter three thousand pages of this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down +2

RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops