Hellen keller

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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